Married Millennials: How we Make it Work with Today’s Distractions
Today we have so many distractions, and Ivan and I have fallen victim to some of these. The use of ipads, computers, and especially iphones (and more). In our personal lives, sometimes Ivan has evening events with him being an academic counselor for a high school, while I will attend events on my own to network and stay involved for my passion with blogging and digital marketing.
There have been moments where before we both we go to sleep, we are BOTH laying down and on our phones. So much so, that we feel that we lose the sense of connection going into our daily lives. This can be dangerous if we don’t stop and get back to basics. However, what if there are other couples who don’t recognize this? How long can a couple go with this unhealthy routine? I wanted to share with you, married or not, some of the things Ivan and I do to stay connected even though we have access to so many distractions.
Learning the Activities you both Enjoy (Plan ahead)
While Ivan and I are barely going on 3 years married (March 11th), we have been together for almost 9 years. There have been times, with us being together this long, that I personally have to stop and think of what are the things that we do together that make us both happy. Those are as follows: attend concerts, local festive events, trying new places to eat, going to see a movie, and domestic travel. It’s so easy to not do these things for a long period of time. As with any couple, sometimes we go through our own financial restraints where we shouldn’t do this or that because our priorities change. So we have tried to plan ahead so we can have our moments again- the ones that bring us close together. Essentially, doing things OUTSIDE of the home and not being stuck in front of a TV - Netflix and Amazon Prime are amazing ya’ll, but it’s nice to leave and experience something together. Planning ahead has helped us to remember what makes our relationship so fun, and also create new memories. If you find yourself at home a lot with your loved one, I recommend you to get out and learn what you both enjoy (if you haven’t figured it out already). Be sure it’s something that takes you out of the home, and provides you both with a little adventure. P.S. Groupon can be your BFF!
Setting our Phones Aside
This is something new that we have been implementing. it’s still a work in progress because admittedly “old habits die hard”. I noticed we would get into bed, and Ivan would be on his phone while I would be on mine. We would spend probably 30 minutes or more just looking at videos, or memes. Innocent things, but it took away those minutes we would have together before the next work day. We decided when we would crawl into bed, it meant it was time to put the phone away. We realized it would better to spend those 30 minutes or however long we would stay up, and use it to talk. It’s helped just bring us closer and make us both feel like we have spent some quality time together.
it seems that today’s era, lots of people have side hustles, or work from home. It is afterall, the “millennial” thing to do. Therefore, this is for anyone who works from home, brings work home, or has a side hustle. There needs to be boundaries. I had a shared a blog post of how this year I went full time in pursuing work with clients within digital marketing, and its been quite a change in my work schedule! Naturally, I want to work hard because I need to help provide, and this sometimes can look like… well.. being a workaholic. Working after hours, working long hours, and working weekends. Basically, working all the hours that Ivan is home. This is not a good thing. While yes, I’m getting things done, getting ahead, and staying on top of things…I needed to set boundaries between my clients and for myself. I now operate as much as I can as a 9am-5pm work day, because that’s when Ivan too is at work. Granted, sometimes I will work weekends but I’ve learned to limit my working hours. Before, I would just freestyle (just keep on working and not look at the clock), which was not the habit that I wanted to create.
Shut it Off
Although some millennials know and want a work-life balance, there are some who also crave growth quick. This may go in conjunction with the previous statement, but learning when to shut off work is going to be best for you and your family. I have a bad habit of checking emails all the time. I hit refresh, I take a look, I answer some, and just worry about others to answer the next day. Sometimes, i get the urge to work on whatever it is i need to work on right then and there because of what the email entailed. This is also not a great habit to pick up. I’ve gotten so much better at just leaving the work for the next day and learning what are priorities/urgent and what is not.
We all need to clean right? I know it’s easy to use an app to have someone bring your groceries, drop off your dinner, or even come clean your house (i’m sure there’s an app for that!). Although, this one may seem small…it’s just as important. When we cook together, or do the same home activity together such as cleaning house, it makes us feel like a team. I find these smaller moments fulfilling because it doesn’t place one responsibility more on the other person. Yes- Ivan washes the dishes most of the time, but I sweep and clean the kitchen the other half of the time! So there’s a balance, and those are just some chores that we split up between the both of us. However cleaning the house together, both of us doing laundry, going to the grocery store, or spending time outside in our backyard…brings us together.
Overall, for a relationship, going back to basics has kept us grounded and united. What advice do you have in staying connected in your relationship? What distractions cause a disconnect, and how do you bounce back? I’d love to hear your comments below! Thank you for you reading!